Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize