Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
