im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"