If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I want is dick and wine.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in