The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this