so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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