This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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