That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
