I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
