Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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