At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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