just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
