some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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