Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize