I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
