is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
