Are we in a gay sports bar?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
