Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
