I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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