you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
