On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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