There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
