I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
