Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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