He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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