and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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