Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started