Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
