dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize