The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
