We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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