my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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