i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you traded sex for a burrito?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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