sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
