do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm always down for nudity.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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