actually, I'm a sock model
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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