Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
