Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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