Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ladies don't puke and tell
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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