Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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