Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
