I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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