You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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