I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
