My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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