Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
