Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...