If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.