Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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(770): View more from Georgia

His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(772): View more from Florida

At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?

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(440): View more from Ohio

i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.

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(316): View more from Kansas

I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.

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(510): View more from California

The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.

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