I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.