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• (678): View more from Georgia

  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen

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• (310): View more from California

  Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s

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• 

  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."

  (239): View more from Florida

  I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"

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