Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
