Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.

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(205): I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs. http://tfl.nu/uuhy

Replies (10) Good night (1742) Bad night (651)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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(651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward. http://tfl.nu/djmy

Replies (64) Good night (1974) Bad night (8550)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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(615): He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat. http://tfl.nu/bfbd

Replies (30) Good night (875) Bad night (4373)
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(224): View more from Illinois

he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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(224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy

Replies (44) Good night (7767) Bad night (4569)
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(937): View more from Ohio

i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered

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(937): i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered http://tfl.nu/r084

Replies (23) Good night (3921) Bad night (884)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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(908): My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv. http://tfl.nu/oqts

Replies (61) Good night (11003) Bad night (2055)
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(614): View more from Ohio

i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.

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(614): i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better. http://tfl.nu/octl

Replies (6) Good night (5038) Bad night (932)
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(206): View more from Washington

I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.

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(206): I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day. http://tfl.nu/kwoe

Replies (32) Good night (2418) Bad night (1183)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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(519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328

Replies (6) Good night (1351) Bad night (1455)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

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(781): Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym http://tfl.nu/lv47

Replies (2) Good night (1123) Bad night (543)
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(660): View more from Missouri

He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed

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(660): He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yvvk

Replies (8) Good night (1303) Bad night (681)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.

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(215): There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/7teg

Replies (8) Good night (500) Bad night (717)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"

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(815): Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!" http://tfl.nu/ep20

Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (333)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.

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(602): Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in. http://tfl.nu/uh3u

Replies (5) Good night (630) Bad night (275)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?

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(618): Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina? http://tfl.nu/a7se

Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (150)

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