I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.