Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever

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  (859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever http://tfl.nu/peni
  Replies (23) Good night (2098) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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  (215): He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI http://tfl.nu/4msy
  Replies (30) Good night (1667) Bad night (4242) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Sorry- wrong number! :)

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  (260): I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier. (260): Sorry- wrong number! :) http://tfl.nu/1604
  Replies (18) Good night (1390) Bad night (4789)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months

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  (315): The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months http://tfl.nu/leur
  Replies (27) Good night (3096) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

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  (757): now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined http://tfl.nu/1l3f
  Replies (12) Good night (3956) Bad night (1742) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  how was your day?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?

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  (850): how was your day? (404): fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i? http://tfl.nu/0urf
  Replies (21) Good night (9111) Bad night (723)
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  (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

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  (212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd
  Replies (48) Good night (20388) Bad night (2067)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

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  (813): He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL http://tfl.nu/4831
  Replies (56) Good night (1436) Bad night (5915) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.

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  (562): Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont. http://tfl.nu/ey1g
  Replies (14) Good night (735) Bad night (3336) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.

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  (514): Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife. http://tfl.nu/v3gi
  Replies (12) Good night (3015) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.

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  (262): Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI. http://tfl.nu/aihj
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.

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  (440): I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/u15s
  Replies (17) Good night (2027) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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  (973): Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs. http://tfl.nu/4tj9
  Replies (9) Good night (730) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.

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  (770): Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning. http://tfl.nu/57kn
  Replies (4) Good night (188) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

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  (908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (113) Order T-Shirt

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