I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
