I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
