Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
