Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
