Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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