dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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