My balls are so social today.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
