Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
