I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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