I wish I could punch you in the face.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
