talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
